


Maybe I’m Not Alone

by orphan_account



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst, Crying, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gem Fusion, Hurt/Comfort, One Shot, could be platonic or romantic, lapidot fusion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-26
Updated: 2020-04-26
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:20:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23856733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Takes Place after Reunited and before Change your MindLapis wants to apologize to Peridot, but she fears the worst. They make up with a bit of fusion.
Relationships: Lapis Lazuli & Peridot (Steven Universe), Lapis Lazuli/Peridot (Steven Universe)
Kudos: 37





	Maybe I’m Not Alone

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for the horrible summary! This is my first fic, so please excuse anything wrong and feel free to offer some constructive criticism! I am still learning.

Lapis Lazuli was used to being alone. 

Whether that meant being confined in a mirror for ages, or being treated like a prisoner by those who only wanted to use her. Nonetheless, she came to realize that the worst type of loneliness was one she brought upon herself. 

She had fled. She knew she had others who were there for her. Who loved her. Yet she had done it anyway. For all those years she had someone to blame, or someone to take her hatred out on because she knew that they did this to her. That she was a consequence of their faults. They were the ones who would have to atone for everything they did. But this time, she had none but herself to blame. 

She was trapped, alone with her guilt, regret, and her fears. She was alone with the only thing she couldn’t run away from. Herself. She sat waiting, watching. She found solace in observing them from so far away. She felt so close, and she could almost convince herself it was all real, and that she was there, laughing and playing alongside her friends. They were so happy, happy without her. If she could only just reach out, touch them, know that they’re real and that they were all happy to see her. Maybe now, after all these years, she was finally free from her past and the shackles of misery. But at the lightest touch, her hopes trembled away. She was once again met with the sick reminder that she was only pretending. 

Right now she was alone again. It wasn’t a painful solitude, but the restful one. The dark beach sky stared down at her, the waves poured over the sand before retreating back to the endless expanse. She dug her bare feet further into the sand. This was Steven’s home, but he wasn’t here. He had left for Homeworld, or so she was told by Bismuth. A gem she had never met before who had apparently looked after the poofed gems of her and-

“Lapis?”

A small voice had muttered. A voice belonging to someone she was not expecting. She took this gem’s home and everything in it. Lapis had spent a great deal of her time peering over her as she resided in the temple bathroom. She looked so sad then, so alone, so much like Lapis. The little gem who was there for her always when Lapis needed it, had ended up with no home, no roommate, and sentient gourd to care for. She had assumed she would be the last person Peridot would want to see. 

“You…okay?”

Peridot inquired hesitantly. Lapis found that she had put her hand on her own and she sat next to her in the sand. She didn’t want to pull her hand away ever, it felt so warm and comfortable that she almost forgot that Peridot had asked her a question. 

“I’m fine.”

Lapis stated simply, she didn’t want to say anything wrong or ruin the situation. She just wanted to stay like this forever, with the other gem’s hand against hers. Somebody with her, someone she could touch so she knew it was real. After a long silence, said gem spoke up again. 

“That was pretty dumb of me, huh? Hey, I’ll just go up to Yellow Diamond and yell at her! Yeah, that’s a great idea!”

Peridot mused, receiving a light giggle from the ocean gem. 

“Hey, you were braver than I could ever be,”

She joked back, but it was made clear from the smaller gem’s face that she didn’t find it very funny. 

“Lapis…?”

“Look, Peridot. I’m sorry,”

Lapis admitted. It was something she wanted to say ever since she reformed. To her dismay, the hand on hers was retracted but had soon been replaced by a hug. 

“Don’t be, I forgave you a while ago,”

Came the reply. Lapis tore away from the contact and stood up, her harsh stare fixed on the confused gem beneath her. She felt enraged, and frankly, she didn’t know why. She had been thinking over how their conversation would go for so long and she was almost certain Peridot would be angry at her for leaving. She just didn’t get it. She couldn’t understand how someone could just forgive somebody right there and forget about it. She had spent her whole life holding grudges. She just couldn’t believe the other gem. 

“Why aren’t you mad at me?! I took everything from you! Your home, and all your things, and I- I just don’t get it! Why can’t you just…argh, why can’t you just hate me?!”

Peridot remained persistent. She got up as well and slowly took a step forward. 

“Lapis, I don’t hate you,”

“Why?!”

The green gem was even closer now. She wore a look of concern on her face and her hands intertwined with each other like she had something to say, but couldn’t find the correct words. 

“Alright, it’s, uh..”

Peridot paused, her distracted gaze finally landing on her former roommate. 

“It’s cause’ I don’t want you to feel bad okay? You’re my friend! Friends don’t exactly… make each other feel like that. I don't want you to hurt anymore is all.”

Lapis’s face felt hot. Her arms had fallen heavy at her sides. She wanted to say something, anything, but she couldn’t. Peridot’s words hung heavy in the air and rang inside the ocean gem’s head like an alarm. No matter how hard she tried she couldn’t will her eyes to so much as glance at her companion, whose gaze burned through her. 

“...But I made you feel like that! What I did was horrible and I saw you were-“

Tears were cascading down her face. She was met with a tight hug, tighter than before. There were no words. Just muffled sniffles and the sound of waves crashing onto the shore and curling around their feet. The technician gem’s grip around her waist had not faltered, even as Lapis sat back down on the hot sand. As soon as she stopped crying, she looked up at Peridot. She had tears in her eyes as well, but she was smiling, happy to finally be reunited with her roommate. 

“I saw you, y’know. The moon base had an observation device.. and I- I saw you in Steven’s bathtub and-“

She stopped to wipe a stray tear from her cheek. 

“You looked so sad, and when you went to the kindergarten you were just… devastated”

“I know, Lapis. But it’s okay! Really! Steven and Amethyst were there for me. It wasn’t all bad.”

“Steven…”

Lapis mirrored, thinking of the boy. He had set her free and had helped her when she needed it. Now he was off in space. How he cajoled the diamonds into taking him to Homeworld to confront White Diamond was beyond her. 

“Yeah… I should really head back now. Me and Biz’ were discussing a way we can fix the Diamond ships so-“

Peridot had gotten up and started to walk back to the beach house before Lapis had halted her. 

“Wait! before you go, I, er, had to ask you something.”

The other gem seemed to perk up, she pivoted on her heel and faced her. She seemed unable to contain her excitement and curiosity as a giddy smile swept across her cheeks. 

“Well, the thing is, I was gonna ask you way earlier but.. do you maybe want to fuse? I mean only if that’s okay, no pressure, really” 

She seemed taken aback by Lapis’s question. She was blushing so much she seemed blue. 

“I- hm, okay. Very well, Lapis, I accept your offer.”

Peridot agreed, straightening out. This elicited a giggle from Lapis at her insistence on professionalism. She was staring at her nails in a futile attempt to make it seem as if she wasn’t noticeably excited. It didn’t help that she found herself glancing up at the ocean gem every few seconds. 

“So… how do we do fusion?”

Lapis laughed and offered out her hand.

“We dance, Peridot,”

“Oh. Uh, About that.”

The blue gem raised an eyebrow, still smiling at her small friend.

“Go on?

“I can’t dance, really.” 

“Sure you can, just follow me, and don’t step on my feet,”

Peridot responded with a curt nod, her curious eyes locked on Lapis’s amused ones. She accepted the hand reaching out to her. The two intertwined their fingers and had begun the dance. The blue gem had led it, with the green one following her steps, and occasionally stepping on her feet. Lapis had smooth movements, climbing high as mountain peaks before crashing down like beach waves. Her movement was unpredictable as a storm at sea, yet it had the gentleness of a serene lake. Like a wind blowing the hot, salty summer air unto a beach. The latter had more mechanical steps, after all, Peridots were known for following orders. She was in no way as graceful as Lapis, but it had its own charm. It was almost like a child’s first steps and was hesitant like she was unsure whether the ground would incinerate her feet. At the very end of the dance, Lapis had picked the small gem up and they were engulfed by a blinding white light.

The fusion opened her eyes. She felt uneasy, thoughts running wild in her head.

“Lapis?”

She found herself saying out loud before shaking her head and the nervous thoughts away.

“No. I’m fine. Let’s just keep going.”

She responded to herself, taking a few steps. She stuck her arms out as she moved, feeling the hot breeze blow softly between her fingers. She caught a leaf as it blew towards her, and turned it over. It was green and fresh like it had just fallen from a tree. She let go of it and turned to watch it soar away before it landed in the water. She let out a series of laughter, picking up her pace. After that, she hadn’t even taken a moment to look behind her, she only watched her reflection in the waves as it broke and reformed with each crash.

The fusion reached the forest, tentatively peeking around pine trees. She had scaled a pile of rocks and had a nice view over the wide expanse of nature. She spread her water wings and was rearing to fly, before the rock she was standing on shifted, and she fell backward toward the ground. Once she impacted, she unfused into her components, the two crashing apart. 

“...Woah.”

Peridot had gasped, adjusting her pointed visor which had gone askew. Lapis was smiling jovially, getting up to offer and a hand to her former fusion partner, who had taken it gratefully. She could feel the small green hand trembling in her own.

“I never thought I’d be able to enjoy a fusion ever again after Malachite. I… guess you proved me wrong, huh?”

The ocean gem admitted, ruffling Peridot’s pointy mass of hair. Which turned her face from a look of aghast to one of pride.

“Well of course I did! Us Peridots can be very good at proving things!”

She beamed, puffing out her chest.

“Y’know, I must have been the first Era-two Peridot to fuse! I’m a revolutionary, Lazuli! I’m definitely going to make a meep-morp to commemorate this event. Right after we fix the Diamond ships. Oh! OH! Wait till I tell you about my master plan!”

The small gem ranted as they walked. Lapis was only half listening. She was mostly thinking back to when they fused. She hadn’t realized until more recently how much she missed the other’s company. No matter how annoying. Really, it was what drove her to come back. She saw the Diamonds land their ships on Earth and decided she would not be able to live her life knowing that they all had fallen to the Diamonds and she wasn’t there to at least fight with them.

They arrived back on the beach, Peridot closing off her theory that Yellow Diamond did, in fact, remember her, that she was, quote: “Too consumed by rage to be able to recall me!”. Lapis offered a slight chuckle and sat back down in the sand. She beckoned for her friend to join her, before propping herself up on her elbows. She knew that she could never want to put an end to this. She wanted to fight for this planet, for Peridot.


End file.
